Eftersom att jag är sjuk och det är sent så är jag as trött och orkar inte skriva på svenska så de blir engelska   

There are so many movies with the "motive" Cinderella, a poor kid that has lost a parent one way or another and then has a stepmother or stepfather, with at least one kid since before, that is making it their life goal to mess up the poor kids life. In all the movies though, the kid always win by getting the dad back or by finding true love. The thing is that this "motive" is probably not as common in movies as in real life, how many kids hasn´t lost their parent one way or another. The horrible thing is that most of these people does not get their parent back.

I saw myself as a Cinderella girl until very recently. My dad had a girlfriend that I thought was worse than the wicked witch of the west. She had two kids, a boy and a girl, and the woman hated me. I was taught to respet elders and to give everyone a fair chance so I had to. There has been so many disappointments in my life, the woman moved in with us, she and her kids, when I was 8 (2004). The kids were 6 and 4. I felt so bad (nobody knows this part) I actually tried to kill myself as an 8 year old, hoping I would suffocate in my sleep or that the ghosts (yes I believed in ghosts, still kinda do) in my room would kidnap me or stab me to death (I´d already at that age seen far too many horror movies).

So I talked to my dad after many nights of crying myself to sleep. I told him I didn´t want to live with them, and so he talked to the witch, who ran inside crying. And I felt so bad I walked up to her [insert biggest mistake in my life here] and said "It´s okay, you don´t have to move, I just want you to be nicer". Yeah well, that didn´t work out.. Things got worse and My self destructive behaviour continued. Though I could proudly say I had never cut myself like most other teens until autumn 2012. It has for your information only happened once and hopefully it won´t happen again. Anyway, back to the story.

So they didn´t move out. Dad stopped listening to me. But, last summer, the summer of 2012, Things changed.

Dad and the witch had been on and off for the last 8 years, the witch moving in and out of our house about 12 times, When suddenly dad came home after he had been working out of town (as he has been doing since I was little) and he was so freaking depressed. I had never seen him like that. He suspected that the witch was cheating on him. That day, the 28th of July, dad and I sat down and talked for over 4 hours. We laughed and we cried, talked more than we had ever done for all those years that the witch lived with us. And soon after that they broke up for real. And the first person that dad met after the last phonecall to the witch was so happy that he fell completely in love with her. I found out through facebook (yay daddy, very smart of you to change relation ship status before writing on my timeline dumbass    )

That he had met her at work and they were really in love. After they had been together about two weeks I got to meet her and although anyone would have been better than the witch, this woman was and still is a pure angel! She is so nice and understanding and she makes dad so happy! The first time I went to her home, we were all over there, We went on a shopping trip. I was overwhelmed just because she bought me one pair of jeans. I was used to getting nothing from the stepmonster i used to know, but a pair of jeans and a happy dad isn´t all she has given me this far. She even bought me a ticket to my biggest idol, rolemodel and inspiration, my lifesaver, Justin Bieber. She actually bought me a ticket! I never thought life could become this amazing, and still here I am. lonely sobbing because, I am stuck here in school, with some new AMAZING friends that I never thought would put up with me, but as angelic as they are, they are there for me whenever i need them to, While my dad and the angel is over there, 4-5 hours away from me, living their happily ever after without me simply because i was too scared to jump out in to the wild and move there before school started. Now I have to finish this semester before I can move and I am really scared. I mean, I have these amazing friends, and my mother and brother, and my choir, volunteer work at church, Archery, all of this I would have to leave, and I´m not sure I could deal with that. Why does life has to be so hard? I have to choose between the place that makes me happy, or the people that wants me to be happy. I want to move to dad, but I dont want to leave my life behind. A year ago, or even my whole life until now, I have been ready to leave everything if it meant that I could live with my dad and have the life I always wanted. But now, that I have these amazing friends and my brother, my mom and this whole life I don´t just want to leave everything. And I feel like I am letting everyone down no matter what I do. Dad and the angel will be devastated if I don´t move to them and everyone else will be if I do. So I´m completely torn between two lifes. Since they live so far from each other I really do have to choose, I can´t live one week there and one week here, I have to choose, and fast. I will have to move down to dad in two and a half year anyway for university but that is a whole other thing, because that isn´t optional if I want to fulfill my dream. But I´m not even sure what I want to be anymore, I want to sing, forever, but I´m really not good enough.

Anyway what I wanted to say is, Cinderella stories don´t always have a happy ending, but life can get easier in the end, I sure hope so but we´ll see sometime in the future, 'cause I´m not quite there yet.   

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